Where Have You Gone Essay Example for Free

Where Have You Gone Essay Often in life, it is the choices we make that shape our identity. Our behaviors, and actions determine the outcome; ultimately becoming a part of our character. In the poem â€Å"Where Have You Gone? † by Mari Evans the author reveals the consequences of a tragic ending to an overly reliant relationship. Evans suggests that when in a relationship, often one individual chooses to rely too much on the other without realizing; building a heavy dependency, causing the loss of their own identity. Like Evans poem, I personally had to learn the consequences of my decisions which led to detrimental effects between my relationship with my sister. Through Evans illuminating poem we are able to assess the devastating effects of a poor woman who has been abandoned by her lover. Evans choice to use the title â€Å"Where have you gone? † conveys her sense of loss and confusion. The entire poem centers over this nagging question. The repetition of the same inquiry amplifies the growing bewilderment and confusion inside her, tearing her apart. Initially, we are led to believe we are reading an ordinary love poem with the reference of a woman who misses his â€Å"confident walk with [his] crooked smile† until Evans reveals him leaving with â€Å"the rent money in one pocket and [her] heart in another † This drastically changes the sense of superficiality in a relationship. For the woman this is not just heartbreak, but she has lost her sense of survival. It becomes apparent she is grieving when Evans states â€Å"with you went the sun. With the absence of sunlight, it leaves her in the darkness longing for his return. For his return will relieve her of distress and mourning. It is evident that she lost her sense of identity through her dependencies on him emotionally and financially. When I was a child, I looked up to my oldest sister. I wanted to look just like her. After entering junior high school, I made a new group of friends and changed the way I dressed and acted. I had begun copying my sister relentlessly. I made it my priority to sneak into her room and â€Å"borrow† her clothes. My decision to disrespect my sister’s belongings led to frequent arguments, and physical brawls. She began distancing herself from me and our once strong relationship vanished. Through this phase I lost the older sister I grew up with because of my obsession with merely wanting to fit in at school. Consequently, I became extremely lost as to who I was, unable to remember the person prior; leading me to live a life that was not mine. Eventually, I realized this contributed to the shattered bonds with my sister, and even resulted in losing my own identity. My experience suggests often individuals can become so caught up with others we lose sight of who we actually are. Mari Evans poem â€Å"Where Have You Gone? † is the after effects of having been abandoned by her lover. We witness the devastating effects of a woman who has been cripplingly reliant on another person. Sadly, situations like these happen when individuals choose to invest themselves too deeply into a relationship which causes an individual to lose their sense of self.